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HOUSES OF THE HOLY: My Reluctant Journey Into The World Of Metaphysics Cont.

THIEVES IN THE TEMPLE:  I Grab Any Information That I Can

My heart was sad. It ached. It wanted information and help. I prayed the only prayers that I knew but I also wanted more. Going to a Hindi temple was to be my first experience into a long series of seeking out God and to try to get a better understanding of him and how I could connect better. My first visit I walked into the middle of a service. There were large deities made out of stone at the incredibly tall ornate alter with pillars and  fresh flowers. There was a smell of incense in the air. My spirit was immediately lifted and my sense was alerted to the presence of something holy. I could feel a power in there that made my energy field feel safe and protected. I met the main people who run it and stayed for some meditation. That’s when I found out about a weekly Kundalini class that met every Thursday night. I knew then I was going to find a guru. I thanked the owners very sincerely and left. I couldn’t wait for the class and I was very excited.

The outside of the temple at night can be a very scary place. Outside in the garden there were stone statues of Ganesha, the symbol of childlike purity and there were Tibetan like bells on the outside of the big red wooden doors on the entrance. It was a cold dark night when I showed up and it was during the week so there were hardly any cars there or people for that matter.  I got out of my car and there was a Caucasian guy about my age standing in the driveway to the temple and he was just looking at it. We exchanged words and he informed me that he too had grown up Catholic. He reminded me of some scripture where we are not to worship false gods and for that reason he wasn’t sure he was going to walk in. I explained to him my situation and informed him that I had no choice. I had to walk in no matter what and I was prepared to do whatever I had to restore my life. He ended up walking back to his car and leaving the temple grounds and I bravely turned around and walked into the temple.

Once I was inside we were instructed to take our shoes off. I was informed that I was in an auspicious place and that the power of Universal intelligence was everywhere. I felt like a thief who was breaking into the temple in search of riches or gold. I was not of the East Indian race and didn’t come from any Hindi culture. I was just an American soul who was clueless about the rich customs and lore from such a fantastic people. A million questions raced through my head. Would I be asked to leave? Would I be turned away and asked never to return? If I was able to get up to the alter how long would I be able to stay before I would get thrown out into the street again?

The most burning of all my questions was would I ever get to find a gurus master to help my painful heart? Would I ever get restored and be sane again? Or would I get thrown back into darkness….only to go through the drudgery of the Western lifestyle that so many millions of miserable and unenlightened people face each and every day?

I met a group of people that night that were studying Kundalini. I met a teacher that would set me on the long road to enlightenment. Only I had no idea how long that would take or what I would have to do to get there. My teacher’s name was Prashant and he had a smile that was full of joy and was very authentic. He didn’t turn me away and that was something I was very worried about. They studied Kundalini through a living Indian saint – Shri Mataji. This woman was responsible for Sahaj Yoga. This turned out to be a very intelligent group of committed people who were on a mission to teach self realization to the masses.

I learned that Kundalini is a flow of energy which starts at the base of your spine and travels up your back hitting all of your chakras, (or energy centers). The power goes all the way up through your third eye and out of the top of your head to your crown chakra. From there it travels up to the heavens and connects to infinite wisdom. Well, that is, if you believe in that sort of thing. The more I studied this fascinating study I was a bit stunned to meet East Indian people who would pull me aside and ask, “You don’t’ really believe in that stuff do you?”. It appears that the study of this internal Universal energy study has fallen victim to neglect and has been classified by some as being nothing more than folklore.

But I can tell you that this energy source is very real. I can also tell you that if you aren’t ready for it that it can really blow your mind and give you a life and death scare. My awakening into this practice was like a volcano erupting and I thought I was having a heart attack or that I was dying. Nobody was at home when my Kundalini awakened in my body.

I was going to the weekly meetings at Parashakti Temple for about maybe five months and had felt nothing. I was getting more of a therapeutic benefit from the kind people there more than anything. They sympathized with my loss of career and jolted life’s path and took mercy on me. I was pitied and found solace in their comfort. I never even thought for a minute that my body was building up a tolerance of energetic circuitries. These would explode without warning or notice and that’s exactly what happened.

The winter before my big eruption I enjoyed my time with the quiet Thursday night routine. I would walk in circles around the energetic room as I would call it. This was a tiny room off to the side of the temple that had blessed and holy statuary in there with candles. I would walk around this big alter seven times to mimic the order of the planets. To the best of my knowledge that is what I would do. I can liken it to a way to align oneself with the Universe and to make things right. The drive back home was always lonely, sad and reflective. Yet, I would continue to go week after week.

THE JOLT FROM DIVINE
It was on a Saturday night. I had a serious problem with duality and would bounce back from my run ins with the Houses of the Holy as I called them, (various temples that I would visit including the Jains). Then I would go back to my other personality side of my past where I would watch endless hours of Comedy Central and blast loud rock music. I was bouncing back from the sacred to the profane. There was no harmony and I still wasn’t getting the concept of balance.

 It was a dateless, friendless long Saturday night and I had the house to myself. I blasted loud rock music and lit candles. I had retired back to the bedroom and grabbed a couple of holy books to read myself to sleep. I dozed off and that’s when all hell broke loose.

The dream was no dream. As far as I could tell I had entered Heaven. Maybe I died. To this day I had no idea what had really happened but I saw God face to face and heard him speak directly to me. The conversation was not a good one. He was upset about how I treated women and that I wasn’t as sweet or respectful as I could have been in my lifetime. The message was that there wasn’t very much sweetness in me. I had an out of control ego and I had to be the center of everything.  It was like I was being scolded. I had led a very egotistic life and this is going back to when I was a young artist. I never really made time for other people.

   
 


The voice was something like I can’t quite explain. This was a series of ocean waves crashing into one another but yet there was an audible voice in there in between each wave crash. You always hear about God’s voice as being as, “Big as the Sea” and that is the best way that I could describe it. There were these loud tidal wave crashes and the sound was deep and thunderous. While in his presence I was in awe and yet terrified at the same time.

Then suddenly without warning I was cast out of Heaven and back into Earth. I could actually feel myself falling. I could see a giant hand pointing down to Earth. There was a white yellowish light coming out of his gigantic hand and when he pointed I could see blue bombs and flashes of bluish lightning. I fell fast and hard like a shooting star.

When I crash landed back onto my bed my right leg felt like it had burst into flames. I felt like I was being electrocuted. That is how I awoke. I jumped up and could barely pull the covers off my leg. My arm felt numb and I had no strength to get the covers off of my leg.  The holy books were tangled up in my covers and for a minute I really thought they were touching an exposed lamp chord or something. I thought my whole bed was electrified. I got up and could feel my heart explode in my chest and warm liquid was coming out of it. My head “popped” and it was raining inside of my body from my head all the way down to my legs. It was like currents of energy raining down and I was reminded of those funny green letters you see falling down in streams like in that movie, “The Matrix”. I thought I was dying. Worse, nobody was at home to be there when I would leave this world.

Yet, I felt that I was going to survive in some weird way because I was just kicked out of Heaven. God had just thrown me back onto the Earth. I had no idea if this was even real or not I mean what else could I compare this to? Was I dying? Or was this some kind of rebirth?

I was terrified.

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